Mornings at Mandir
By: Geetika Kullampalle and Namita Bhavanam
Geetika
Finally, after a year, my mind stops churning, its relentless hum silenced into nothing. No thoughts, no worries, not a single whisper of distraction. For the first time in what feels like an eternity, I am free from the weight of it all. My mind, once a storm, is now a calm sea.
I slip off my crocs and walk, barefoot, each step connecting me deeper to the warmth of the granite stairs. It feels like the temple is pulling me in, guiding me home, Harithachala. The sight of Baba comes into view, basking in sunlight after his morning bath. His marble skin, usually white as snow, now shimmers golden, radiant, bringing him to life. His gentle smile, so familiar yet so powerful, stretches wider in the morning glow. And though I stand before him every morning, I never tire of this moment. Every time, it feels like the first time.
If I stare long enough, I swear Baba is alive; his chest subtly rising and falling, his eyes blinking in a silent acknowledgment of my presence. It’s as if, in that moment, we exist in a world only we know. Stepping into the mandir, the cool, crisp marble sends a shiver through my feet, grounding me yet lifting me into another realm. It's just me, Baba, and Foxy. Foxy's head resting on my lap, his quiet warmth anchoring me in the peace of this space. And Baba, his smile tells stories without words, the sun’s warmth carrying his love, as if he's whispering, "Welcome home." One smile, and suddenly, everything feels right, everything feels whole, everything feels okay.
My favorite part is Baba Bath, the smooth marble against my rough hands, the way when I touch his feet a surge of energy radiates through me. I love Baba Bath because when I am up there, nothing else matters; it is just Baba and I. When I touch his feet, they feel as though he has been sitting there waiting for me. I love the way he turns golden when the morning sun peaks through the mesh windows, and water is poured from his head, tracing the nooks and crannies. When all of that is going on, his ten reflections on the black wall make him so prominent that if you focus long enough, you could see crevices all around him.
The present slips away, the soft hum of the namam pulling me back to the here and now. Her voice echoes off the temple walls, an enchanting melody that fills the space with. The vibrations seep through the floor, through my bones, connecting me to something far beyond. I am transported once again, to a new world where Baba and Guruji sit beside me, their conversation flowing endlessly, as though they’ve been talking for lifetimes. In this place, in this moment, it is as if time does not exist, only love, only peace.
Every morning in the mandir, we had the wonderful opportunity to sing namam and embrace Baba and Guruji tatayya’s love. When I was younger, Amma would sing namam into my ears and I sang it out loud during satsang, so I grew up loving to listen and sing to namam. Once I grew a bit older I became more self conscious and did not sing as much. However, I Harithachala re-sparked my interest in singing again last summer and I was able to continue that this summer.
Namita — Namam
Coming into camp last year, a lot of us were afraid and nervous to sing namam in front of other people as we were not confident in our abilities. Most of the girls still continued to shy away from namam. Akka expressed that she wanted us to enjoy it and for it to not feel like a chore- we almost even stopped including namam in the morning time altogether because on the first morning, only two of us had sung and barely anyone was repeating in the chorus. However, we collectively really enjoy expressing our love through namam and didn’t want to give it up, so we decided to be more conscious since then. From the next day onwards, more of the girls started singing one by one. We practiced namam while painting in the bakery, while walking in giripradakshina and during our trek, and in Babuji hall. Slowly but surely, all the girls had sung at least once, if not more.
With everyone fully immersing themselves in namam, the energy in the morning at the mandir had become so powerful and revitalizing and helped us be the best versions of ourselves for the remainder of the day. What was even more beautiful was that namam at the mandir helped a lot of girls break out of their shells and show their love in a way they would not have imagined before coming to camp.
Another unique experience is that of Aswi’s. She has such a strong and unique voice but has always been a bit reserved when it came to singing in front of people. She learned Carnatic music for almost ten years of her life and has always loved singing but didn’t have the confidence to perform in front of people. The years spent learning Sangeetham sometimes felt not worth it for her because she wouldn’t showcase her talent and skill. However, during camp this year, she very confidently sang namam and that too, so beautifully. Maybe it was because of the love she had for Baba and Guruji tatayya. You could hear the love through the sweet callings of her namam, drowning away any hints of nervousness that might have been there to start. After her many times of singing namam in Harithachala, Aswi wanted to say namam in Saipatham during Gurupurnima so she asked Vamsi uncle if she could still sign up and he told her all of the slots were full.
A few hours before Aswi and I were leaving Shirdi, Vamsi uncle found Aswi and let her know that there were a few people that signed up to say namam that day that could not be there. Because of this, he told Aswi that she could take their spot. She felt so blessed in that moment. The Geckos all sat in satsang, eagerly waiting to listen and sing along. She had also been feeling like she didn’t spend enough time sitting with Baba and Guruji tatayya in Saipatham and that time that she spent calling out to Baba felt like a lifetime! It was the perfect way to end our Shirdi visit! The journey of her going from never singing in front of anyone to singing to Baba and Guruji tatayya in Shirdi was such a beautiful one to witness!
Pravallika also had an experience like this in Harithachala. She practiced a tune again and again because she was worried that she would forget in the moment. She sang for her very first time while we were doing giripradakshina around Arunachala and then the next morning in the mandir! Pravallika expressed how happy and comfortable she was to sing namam. Every single girl had a unique experience with namam this year, and it helped us feel closer to Baba and Guruji tatayya.
